( she's quiet for a moment, biting the inside of her mouth. it's likely when it feels like nothing will be said that she does speak )
She loved you.
( it's easier to say the words as if she were sharing someone else's secret rather than her own secret. because whilst it's her chris she loves-- this is also chris. she loves him as well because he is christopher pike, some details might be different but she sees so much of the man she knows in him. because he is him )
She loved you more than she would ever dare to admit.
( and una knows that because it's how her love feels )
[And he's sure that's exactly how her Chris feels. If she said let's resign our commissions and run a bed and breakfast on Mars, he'd do it, without a second thought. He'd get to spend the rest of his days with her, and that's really all he could ask for after all these years of space crisis after space crisis.]
( it's very possible that she might cry, full of emotion at hearing him speak, of what he felt for her... she forgets for a moment that it's not confessing love for her, and whilst she could (does) assume that chris feels the same about her...
it's an emotionally messy situation, raw emotion felt from both sides, reunions and pain and so much love. and una's not great at words, not good at talking about anything emotional but she is good with actions. so she kisses him again, telling him everything through that touch. it's still gentle, tender, but all of that raw emotion, her love for one captain, and a little need -- missing him, comforted by the touch of this man's arm around her.
she's only been out of her universe for hours but there's fear of never getting back there, of losing chris how he'd lost her. so this time, she doesn't just kiss him the once, she kisses him again, kisses him as someone who doesn't want to let go, fears losing any part of him )
[Chris is already well on his way to crying. Between being woken up in the middle of the night, seeing her, now this he knows it's messy, but he just doesn't care. He's fairly sure if he found himself in another universe with another Una, he'd be reacting the exact same way she is right now. He kisses her back, something he never thought he'd get to do again.
He's taking the opportunity.
It's not the Una he loves. Logically, he knows that. But his entire body's screaming at him that it is her, the same woman he thought was gone two years ago. The same person he never got to say goodbye to. And maybe, he could let himself believe that, just for a little while.]
( his kiss encourages her, the reaction that both him and his body have in response because for her it's exactly the same -- there might be a few lines or some history that's different but to her heart (and body) it's him, the man that she fell in love with, shares a bed with, loves with every fiber of her.
her hands come up, resting on his face, fingers tracing over his hairline. his hair feels the same, how soft he always keeps it, how she always loves running her fingers through it, and the urge to bury her fingers in there now is strong, to pull him to her until neither can breathe, to soothe every ache and pain in both of their hearts.
and she does kiss him until it hurts, until she's breathless and needs to take a moment. she leans backwards, rolling to her back, her hands encouraging him to follow. and even waiting, even as he moves she's leaning up to meet him, wanting to kiss him again, needing to kiss him again. she can't lose him )
( she could easily move to let him remove her top, feeling his hands pushing underneath it, though for the minute she can't let go. her hands stay resting on his face, fingers pushing into his hair, kisses growing hungrier and needier with every beat of her heart, quickening, becoming almost sloppy with how desperate she is to kiss and touch him.
one leg raises to hook over his hip, a firm little tug pressing him into her. the pressure of his body is soothing, a weight that's familiar, comforting in how solid he is, knowing that he's there, that with her leg holding him firm he can't go anywhere.
it feels silly in a way-- no, it feels very silly but after jumping universes, after reading what happened to herself here and being separate from chris (even with this one here)-- she's terrified. she'd always been afraid of something happening to him whilst she was there or on a mission but now when their futures and lives are so finite? she needs to feel him with her, on her, in her, everywhere to comfort the fear and anxiety that's bursting within her, to calm her heart... to just be with him, to have him there )
[They're really doing this, all of this. Not that it's a problem for him, and he hopes that Una won't regret it when they're done. She's the one that has someone to go back to where she's from.
When her leg hooks around his hip, he knows there's no hiding how hard he is. He wants her. For a little while he might not feel so alone when he thinks about her.
( he gets an ohhh when he presses into her, squeezing her leg slightly to press him firm into her again, moaning this time at the contact. it never takes much from him to get her wet, her body responsive to him, especially when such a desperate need runs through her.
there are no words, frantic kisses occupying her, though her hands come down to paw at him. his shirt goes untouched, pants only slightly dislodged from his hips, difficult with her leg there, but she'd gotten them there enough to reach her hand in, wrapping it around his cock, lifting him out, not concerned about her pyjamas, knowing he'll be quick on the hint )
[When she touches him he swears his mind goes blank. No one knew how to touch him like Una, and it seemed like that was something that transcended universes, a fact that he'll deal with later. There're more important things on his mind now.
His brain catches up to the rest of his body, and he manages to get her bottoms down and out of the way easily enough. Then he leans down to kiss her again, still needy but less desperate. It was a kiss that said that he loved her, any her.]
( they know their others selves perfectly but everything about this screams chris. she's touching him how she'd touch her lover and everything he does from his kisses to how his hand touch her and unclothe her, to how his cock feels in her hand feels exactly like the man she makes love to as often as possible.
her pants down, her legs part and she gets him lined up, tip already coating with how wet she was, begging for him to press in.
the slower kisses helped her catch her breath a little and she read him easily, that shared love pressed back in return, a squeeze of her leg nudging him against her entrance, needy moan sounding into the kiss )
[He does, and it's accompanied by a moan of his own. She's perfect.]
Okay?
[He waits a minute before he starts moving. He thought it was going to be hot and fast, but now, after that kiss, he can't take his eyes off her. She's just amazing.]
( she's quick to nod because everything about this feels so right, with him touching her, in her, even that little question-- it's really easy to forget that this isn't the man of her universe, everything about this is the same. they've done quick and desperate before, not quite so needy as this but after a long shift where they've been wound up they've fumbled about and quickly fucked on his counter or against the wall before retreating to his bed for something calmer. here, now, there might be more clothes involved and a quicker, desperate build up but it just feels right. it feels like the man she loves. because even a chris from another universe she does love )
Don't let me go.
( it's that one little fear, the thing that had first made her cling to him, pull him tight to her with leg around him, that same leg that's helping keep him pressed deep in her. only after he agrees, after she's a little comforted will she relax it slightly so that he can move )
[It was the same thing he said to her, before she died. Before he couldn't keep that promise. Before Starfleet made him break that promise. If he does let her go he hopes it'll be into the arms of her Christopher Pike. That's the only way he would.]
( she nods, and the tears that are pricking at her ears she tries to keep hold of, glad of the dark so he can't see them. her leg relaxes slightly, staying hooked over him, comfortable for how she's spread for him, but enough to let him move.
when she kisses him again it's much slower, no less needy or hungry but no longer desperate, not with how they're tucked together, calmed by the other. it's a kiss that tells him that she's okay, that she loves him, that she wants to make love to him )
[And he's going to do that for her. He loves her, it doesn't matter which Una it is, she's still her. When her leg loosens around him, he starts moving. It's a slower pace, but not careful. Chris wants to make sure she enjoys herself and that she really knows he loves her.
( no matter what chris does, una would argue that she knows that he loves her, but there's definitely something different between their typical love-filled sex and really feeling it with every sliw thrust, with every inch he moves screaming it.
even from the start it makes her shudder, fingers pressing into where her hands sit, a slightly higher pitched moan. it's been a while since they've had sex like this, since chris has needed to remind her that he truly loves her, that nothing will ever change that.
what she also finds is that some of those tears she'd held back fall, leaking out despite feeling reassured, too much emotion clawing at the surface for her to hold it back. they fall silently, no sobs, una not actively crying, just a little overwhelmed by how much he loves her )
[He still loves that sound. He'd thought he'd forgotten. There's so much about her, and so much about this he thought he'd forgotten. He could feel something in his chest, and he could feel whatever it was just give way.
His head dropped toward her neck and he placed a kiss there. He knew those tears he was trying to hold back earlier run out of his eyes, and he wondered if she could feel them too.]
( she feels it slightly when his cheek brushes against her, though una's distracted enough by how he feels and is making her feel that she doesn't really notice. right now, caught by her fear, she doesn't want this moment to end, wishing they could stay interwined for as long as she needs (forever, currently), the steady pressure of his thrusts a comfort, the ripples of pleasure he sends throughout her blissful.
her tears fall a little more, and maybe she is crying, una pressing her head into the pillow harder, moans falling from her and she's never been more glad for a cover. but she needs him, guiding his head back to her to kiss him again, hoping their shared tears don't stop him, not sure she'd be able to handle the question that came with it.
so she kisses him hard, kisses him as much as she can with how breathy she's getting, moans filtering more into his mouth and her leg squeezes responsively a little tighter, feeling tighter herself )
[He knew he wouldn't be able to answer any questions, at least not right after they were done. Chris' moans are first muffled by her shoulder, then her kiss. He's not going to last too much longer and he's pretty sure they both know it.
For as strange as this all is, he's just so damn happy to be with her again.]
( her fingers burying again into his hair and this time when her legs squuezes all he's able to do are quick little thrusts, short snaps meant just to rub him and nudge her, the last bit of pressure that she needs until she comes.
despite the intensity of their build up and how strong her orgasm is she's surprisingly quiet, moaning still as he works her through it but lacking the volume they're both used to.
she kisses him again once they're both done, light again, just a need to touch him, soft sharing of love, except her cheeks really are wet now, all of those tears released when she came, falling still as her body calms. the sex was incredible if perhaps the most emotionally raw she's ever had )
[He stays like he is, just for a minute after they're done, before rolling to her side and adjusting their clothing. When she kisses him is when he notices her tears. This was a lot for both of them if they were both crying. He puts his arm around her to keep her close to him.
He did say he wasn't going to let her go.
Chris lets another few minutes go by before finally saying something.]
( she doesn't answer immediately, not sure how she'll sound or what she'll say, silently letting her tears fall. when he pulls her closer she presses her face into him, tears wetting his tee, taking as much comfort from him as she can.
eventually she nods, because her tears aren't for sadness but a build up of emotion, of fear. it's not him that scares her but this situation, how she's here, whether she can get home and to the man she knows. she just slept with this chris, and una knows she would again in a heartbeat, but would it always be like this? would he want to go there? and why does she feel suddenly guilty about it )
What will happen if I can't get back?
( her words are muffled slightly by his chest but still audible enough. she said it'd be one day at a time but it's a big unknown )
[When he realizes she's crying, he starts gently rubbing her back. It's more to be soothing than anything else.]
I don't know, Una. But I'm not going to throw you out of here. I know you don't belong here, but you're still Una Chin-Riley. I don't know what the Fleet's going to do, and I don't think we should worry about it right now.
[Then he realizes that sounds somewhat patronizing. She's allowed to worry about whatever she likes.]
Right now, you're safe. I'm not going to let anything happen to you.
( she moves her head slightly so her face isn't as pressed into him, laid more against him instead, slowly calming down )
I don't know how that's supposed to sound but... you're him.
( the man she loved and knew. his kindness was the same, his generosity and love, how much he cared for others. was she falling in love all over again? if she could she was )
no subject
She loved you.
( it's easier to say the words as if she were sharing someone else's secret rather than her own secret. because whilst it's her chris she loves-- this is also chris. she loves him as well because he is christopher pike, some details might be different but she sees so much of the man she knows in him. because he is him )
She loved you more than she would ever dare to admit.
( and una knows that because it's how her love feels )
no subject
[And he's sure that's exactly how her Chris feels. If she said let's resign our commissions and run a bed and breakfast on Mars, he'd do it, without a second thought. He'd get to spend the rest of his days with her, and that's really all he could ask for after all these years of space crisis after space crisis.]
no subject
it's an emotionally messy situation, raw emotion felt from both sides, reunions and pain and so much love. and una's not great at words, not good at talking about anything emotional but she is good with actions. so she kisses him again, telling him everything through that touch. it's still gentle, tender, but all of that raw emotion, her love for one captain, and a little need -- missing him, comforted by the touch of this man's arm around her.
she's only been out of her universe for hours but there's fear of never getting back there, of losing chris how he'd lost her. so this time, she doesn't just kiss him the once, she kisses him again, kisses him as someone who doesn't want to let go, fears losing any part of him )
no subject
He's taking the opportunity.
It's not the Una he loves. Logically, he knows that. But his entire body's screaming at him that it is her, the same woman he thought was gone two years ago. The same person he never got to say goodbye to. And maybe, he could let himself believe that, just for a little while.]
no subject
her hands come up, resting on his face, fingers tracing over his hairline. his hair feels the same, how soft he always keeps it, how she always loves running her fingers through it, and the urge to bury her fingers in there now is strong, to pull him to her until neither can breathe, to soothe every ache and pain in both of their hearts.
and she does kiss him until it hurts, until she's breathless and needs to take a moment. she leans backwards, rolling to her back, her hands encouraging him to follow. and even waiting, even as he moves she's leaning up to meet him, wanting to kiss him again, needing to kiss him again. she can't lose him )
no subject
He wants her top off, touching her suddenly became the only thing he could think about. He was going to settle for just pushing it higher.]
no subject
one leg raises to hook over his hip, a firm little tug pressing him into her. the pressure of his body is soothing, a weight that's familiar, comforting in how solid he is, knowing that he's there, that with her leg holding him firm he can't go anywhere.
it feels silly in a way-- no, it feels very silly but after jumping universes, after reading what happened to herself here and being separate from chris (even with this one here)-- she's terrified. she'd always been afraid of something happening to him whilst she was there or on a mission but now when their futures and lives are so finite? she needs to feel him with her, on her, in her, everywhere to comfort the fear and anxiety that's bursting within her, to calm her heart... to just be with him, to have him there )
no subject
When her leg hooks around his hip, he knows there's no hiding how hard he is. He wants her. For a little while he might not feel so alone when he thinks about her.
Maybe he'll remember this instead.]
no subject
there are no words, frantic kisses occupying her, though her hands come down to paw at him. his shirt goes untouched, pants only slightly dislodged from his hips, difficult with her leg there, but she'd gotten them there enough to reach her hand in, wrapping it around his cock, lifting him out, not concerned about her pyjamas, knowing he'll be quick on the hint )
no subject
His brain catches up to the rest of his body, and he manages to get her bottoms down and out of the way easily enough. Then he leans down to kiss her again, still needy but less desperate. It was a kiss that said that he loved her, any her.]
no subject
her pants down, her legs part and she gets him lined up, tip already coating with how wet she was, begging for him to press in.
the slower kisses helped her catch her breath a little and she read him easily, that shared love pressed back in return, a squeeze of her leg nudging him against her entrance, needy moan sounding into the kiss )
no subject
Okay?
[He waits a minute before he starts moving. He thought it was going to be hot and fast, but now, after that kiss, he can't take his eyes off her. She's just amazing.]
no subject
Don't let me go.
( it's that one little fear, the thing that had first made her cling to him, pull him tight to her with leg around him, that same leg that's helping keep him pressed deep in her. only after he agrees, after she's a little comforted will she relax it slightly so that he can move )
no subject
[It was the same thing he said to her, before she died. Before he couldn't keep that promise. Before Starfleet made him break that promise. If he does let her go he hopes it'll be into the arms of her Christopher Pike. That's the only way he would.]
no subject
when she kisses him again it's much slower, no less needy or hungry but no longer desperate, not with how they're tucked together, calmed by the other. it's a kiss that tells him that she's okay, that she loves him, that she wants to make love to him )
no subject
no subject
even from the start it makes her shudder, fingers pressing into where her hands sit, a slightly higher pitched moan. it's been a while since they've had sex like this, since chris has needed to remind her that he truly loves her, that nothing will ever change that.
what she also finds is that some of those tears she'd held back fall, leaking out despite feeling reassured, too much emotion clawing at the surface for her to hold it back. they fall silently, no sobs, una not actively crying, just a little overwhelmed by how much he loves her )
no subject
His head dropped toward her neck and he placed a kiss there. He knew those tears he was trying to hold back earlier run out of his eyes, and he wondered if she could feel them too.]
no subject
her tears fall a little more, and maybe she is crying, una pressing her head into the pillow harder, moans falling from her and she's never been more glad for a cover. but she needs him, guiding his head back to her to kiss him again, hoping their shared tears don't stop him, not sure she'd be able to handle the question that came with it.
so she kisses him hard, kisses him as much as she can with how breathy she's getting, moans filtering more into his mouth and her leg squeezes responsively a little tighter, feeling tighter herself )
no subject
For as strange as this all is, he's just so damn happy to be with her again.]
no subject
despite the intensity of their build up and how strong her orgasm is she's surprisingly quiet, moaning still as he works her through it but lacking the volume they're both used to.
she kisses him again once they're both done, light again, just a need to touch him, soft sharing of love, except her cheeks really are wet now, all of those tears released when she came, falling still as her body calms. the sex was incredible if perhaps the most emotionally raw she's ever had )
no subject
He did say he wasn't going to let her go.
Chris lets another few minutes go by before finally saying something.]
You okay?
no subject
eventually she nods, because her tears aren't for sadness but a build up of emotion, of fear. it's not him that scares her but this situation, how she's here, whether she can get home and to the man she knows. she just slept with this chris, and una knows she would again in a heartbeat, but would it always be like this? would he want to go there? and why does she feel suddenly guilty about it )
What will happen if I can't get back?
( her words are muffled slightly by his chest but still audible enough. she said it'd be one day at a time but it's a big unknown )
no subject
I don't know, Una. But I'm not going to throw you out of here. I know you don't belong here, but you're still Una Chin-Riley. I don't know what the Fleet's going to do, and I don't think we should worry about it right now.
[Then he realizes that sounds somewhat patronizing. She's allowed to worry about whatever she likes.]
Right now, you're safe. I'm not going to let anything happen to you.
no subject
( she moves her head slightly so her face isn't as pressed into him, laid more against him instead, slowly calming down )
I don't know how that's supposed to sound but... you're him.
( the man she loved and knew. his kindness was the same, his generosity and love, how much he cared for others. was she falling in love all over again? if she could she was )
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)