( the doctor's voice is quiet, concerned, as she rushes around the console. she flips switches, turns dials, even accidentally covers the floor with biscuits, but the tardis refuses to listen to her.
she briefly wonders if she's throwing a tantrum over being left alone, is just about to reassure her when they stop. and of course she checks the location before stepping outside but she can't quite believe it. can't begin to fathom why her tardis would bring her here of all places.
any denial, however, is gone as soon as she steps outside, leaving her with a sharp exhale. she turns back to the tardis but the doors have shut behind her and won't open. it doesn't stop her from slamming her hand onto the doors, then rubbing almost soothingly. )
What are you doing? Why here?
( but for once the tardis remains silent.
hearts hammering, the doctor walks around slowly, takes in just how different the library is; it would be pleasant under different circumstances, she thinks.
eventually she comes across quiet sounds of confusion and follows them. it's then that she hears it, that familiar voice, thinks she must be imagining it. blames her current location. but then her eyes land on river. on her wife.
she feels rather like she's been punched in the stomach. )
( it's one after another, an endless stream of questions (of the same questions). where did you come from, how did you use the transport, who are you. that last one is the only one that she can answer, the only thing she's certain of. it isn't the fault of anyone in the library but not knowing--
she tries to step away, to get some space but they don't let her move far. she's tired, at least river thinks she is, trying to remember what actual physical sensations feel like. so much in the data core had been similar yet so much had worked differently. though not knowing had she's alive again river isnt certain that she should mention the data core at all. she has to protect charlotte.
it's as river turns back around, almost as if to yell at someone that she hears her name and instead turns in that direction. she doesn't know the woman, doesn't think she does at least, her voice is unfamiliar but there's a way to her name that river knows she's heard before.
she sighs, preparing the answer she's been giving for the past-- while )
Professor River Song. I can't tell you any more than what I've told them.
( it's impossible. completely impossible. she keeps repeating it over and over in her head as she gives herself the briefest of moments to take in the other woman.
the thing is, she reminds herself, river's always been impossible.
noting river's irritability, the doctor moves to stand in front of her with her back to her. it's partly to face the crowd gathered around her and partly to give herself a small breather. she reaches into the inside of her coat, pulls out her psychic paper and holds it up (where, she hopes, river can't actually see it. one thing at a time), putting on her best authoritative tone. )
Everyone, if you could please move along. Professor Song obviously isn't up to answering any questions. ( when no one immediately makes any attempt to start moving, she rolls her eyes. ) Now, please!
( when some of them finally start shuffling away, the doctor busies herself with putting the paper away as slowly as could be considered normal, meanwhile almost psyching herself up for what's about to follow. she takes a deep breath and turns around. forces herself to meet river's eyes instead of staring at her in awe. )
( there's a breath, caught before being released in relief. she doesn't know this woman, doesn't know anyone here, and yet there's an instinct reaching inside her, something she can't yet figure out. an instinct that river will figure out is trust.
she dips her head, trying not to make an obvious show of watching her but she is glad for her presence, glad for the space that's now been granted to her. the peace and distance now allow river a little time to think, to figure out some of her own questions. and one more.
are you okay? she laughs, a little humourless sound. that was one question that no one had really asked her so far, almost as if they were outraged by her presence rather than caring )
I don't know.
( her hands come in front of her, fingers wringing as she takes a couple of aimless steps )
I feel fine.
( physically. river doesn't know if it's that she doesn't want to say more or if it's that she doesn't know how to say what's bothering her )
( she isn't even sure why she doesn't come right out and say who she is. cautiousness, perhaps. this is entirely too good to be true, and she's waiting for the other shoe to drop.
( the look that river gives her at that second question is filled with exasperation. does she remember anything. how many times had she been asked that so far? but she holds her tongue. this woman had been more helpful so far than anyone else had been )
Not about how I got here. ( back here. she remembered her expedition, her heart breaking at the doctor having never met her. she remembered dying, remembered parts of being in the data core. she knew this was the library but how? she was dead )
I don't even know who you are.
( not that she expects to considering she didn't know anyone here but this woman at least had her name )
( she holds her hands up in a gesture that could be considered defensive. )
No, I don't suppose you do. I'm.. a bit new. Used to go by John. Suppose I should change that now.
( the tardis brought her here. brought her here for a reason - this reason, it seems. she always did have a soft spot for river. it's what the doctor reminds herself as she takes a step closer, eyeing her wife curiously. )
( her expression goes through confusion to uncertainty to, perhaps a little slower than you'd expect, to realisation. forgive her, sweetie, but she's having a strange day )
Doctor?
( it's soft, tentative. she wants it to be real, for this to be her explanation, but also because she feels infinitely more comforted just being in her loves presence -- more grounded particularly when things are so uncertain )
Did you-- ( do this. but what if the doctor didn't, if she didn't know either. instead, a small smile in place, she goes with-- ) You've regenerated.
Few times since you saw me here. You know that, of course.
( almost uncertainly, the doctor starts to reach out but stops, hand hovering near river's own. there's still that little voice in her head telling her that this can't possibly be real. )
River, how are you-
( she stops, swallows again. she has questions, of course. but river has already made it clear that she doesn't know the answers, and the doctor doesn't want to push her. )
( river understands the hesitation, feeling it herself. she knows that she's out, at least believes this setting enough to hope that she really is out. the one time she'd seen him had been at trenzalore and those circumstances weren't... ideal )
I am.
( she takes a step forward, grasping the hand that had stopped near her )
I thought with you here that you might have had something to do with it.
( the doctor almost jumps when river's hand touches hers. she still almost expected to feel nothing, for this to be some kind of cruel trick. but river is wonderfully, wonderfully solid and the doctor squeezes her hand that little bit tighter. )
I wish I could say it was me, that I'd found a way. The TARDIS brought me here.
( she breathes out a laugh. )
Thought she'd gotten something wrong, or she had the hump with me. Then there you were.
( ah. as much as river had hoped it was the doctor that had rescued her from the library the hesitation had made her uncertain. she seemed surprised to see her which seemed to be more than just from not knowing if it would work.
the contact makes her smile, glad to actually feel her touch, and for something so... real. really real )
Well, I hope you're not going to make me find my own way out now.
( she'll have to thank the tardis later, her own version of love. that old girl always had her covered )
( she moves her hand slightly, laces their fingers together. watches her hands as she does it before looking back up to meet river's eyes with a smile. )
Although, the old girl wouldn't budge. Even locked me out when I walked outside. I'm guessing she didn't want me leaving before I got you.
( her smile widens a little, running her thumb over the doctor's hand. wife, that was going to be one to get used to )
I'm going to need a moment with her later.
( she'd already planned to find her for making sure the doctor found her but for refusing to leave until the doctor had, for not wanting to leave her behind-- she loved that old girl )
Take me home.
( to the tardis. river didn't really have a home, not a single place considering how much she travelled, how much she'd never settled or the time she'd spent in prison. the tardis was the one place that had always felt like home )
Yeah, well. Have a word with her about this, will you? I could've done with some warning.
( she tugs on river's hand and leads her back to the tardis. they pass several people still lurking, still watching them, but she ignores them, concentrating on reaching their destination.
when they reach the tardis she places a hand on one of the doors, glancing back at river as she speaks. )
Happy now? Brought back your favourite.
( there's a hum from inside, then the click of the door opening. she gestures for river to go first, an excited glint in her eyes. )
After you. She's a bit different from last time, I think.
( river dips her head down, letting the doctor's hold on her hand guide her way. she gives a light chuckle at the comment, though it would have been nice if all of them had had some warning )
She changes every time you do.
( a reflection on the doctor, a change after centuries of looking one way. the tardis had as much personality as they did.
river lets her hand slip from her wife's, running a hand down the door affectionately before stepping in. it had been-- she wasn't certain how long it had been since she'd last stepped inside, though river had seen many variations of this console room. each was special, though she can't help but have a soft spot for the first that she'd seen -- bowtie's.
she steps slowly around, almost circling the central console. river gives a gentle hum, resting her hand over the console, a momentary thanks. but it was only brief, a crunching under her foot disturbing it )
( ah. right. those. she'd forgotten about that little incident. )
Sorry. She decided I needed a biscuit dispenser this time around.
( sheepishly, the doctor rushes over and tries to sweep some of the mess away with her foot. when it doesn't really make much difference, she frowns and nods towards the foot pedal. )
I may have gotten a little overenthusiastic when I was trying to get her to listen to me earlier.
( her tone should say that river doesn't really think that, guessing instead that the doctor was more panicked about being back at the library that she'd just hit any button in hopes of getting her to leave )
Though she won't thank you for making more mess.
( and the doctor would just have to clean it up anyway. she's stepping aside from the biscuits to not contribute further, hand reaching out again to rest on the doctor's )
( the word is quieted, expression a little sad just for those few seconds. it wasn't about getting her out even knowing what had happened, especially while river didn't know if she should know something. she was just relieved to be out, to be alive. and glad that the doctor had been there to pick her up )
We'll figure it out. ( more likely it would be one of those questions burning in the back of their minds, river probably gallivanting around again trying not to think about it. who wanted to think about the fact that they'd been dead? ) Just-- I'm glad it was you.
( that she'd been the one to find her, to pick her up. she'd have wanted no one else there )
( she lets herself actually breathe then, easing the tension from her shoulders. she grins at her wife. her gloriously alive wife, and throws her arms around her shoulders. )
Anyone else would've heard your tone of voice and done a runner.
( she lets her hands fall to her waist, trailing her fingers along. she's talking about the people that had first been there, those crowding and bombarding her with questions in the library. at least with the doctor they could take it slow, let her mind and memories catch up )
I suppose I should ask about this.
( she gives a light tug at the suspenders )
How many faces did-- ( did she miss, is the rest of the question that river can't quite finish )
( she takes a small step back and counts them off on her fingers. first met river when she still wore pinstripes, then there was everything with bow-tie, then eyebrows... oh! )
None. Can you believe that? Was still Scottish not that long ago.
( she sounds surprised if a little relieved. to not have missed out on anything... well, that would be a first )
How long has this been for you? This body.
( it would, could if river pressed, tell her how long it had been for the doctor since they'd been on darillium rather than tell her how long she'd been in the library. that time period was a strange one she didn't know if she'd ever be able to figure out )
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( the doctor's voice is quiet, concerned, as she rushes around the console. she flips switches, turns dials, even accidentally covers the floor with biscuits, but the tardis refuses to listen to her.
she briefly wonders if she's throwing a tantrum over being left alone, is just about to reassure her when they stop. and of course she checks the location before stepping outside but she can't quite believe it. can't begin to fathom why her tardis would bring her here of all places.
any denial, however, is gone as soon as she steps outside, leaving her with a sharp exhale. she turns back to the tardis but the doors have shut behind her and won't open. it doesn't stop her from slamming her hand onto the doors, then rubbing almost soothingly. )
What are you doing? Why here?
( but for once the tardis remains silent.
hearts hammering, the doctor walks around slowly, takes in just how different the library is; it would be pleasant under different circumstances, she thinks.
eventually she comes across quiet sounds of confusion and follows them. it's then that she hears it, that familiar voice, thinks she must be imagining it. blames her current location. but then her eyes land on river. on her wife.
she feels rather like she's been punched in the stomach. )
River?
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she tries to step away, to get some space but they don't let her move far. she's tired, at least river thinks she is, trying to remember what actual physical sensations feel like. so much in the data core had been similar yet so much had worked differently. though not knowing had she's alive again river isnt certain that she should mention the data core at all. she has to protect charlotte.
it's as river turns back around, almost as if to yell at someone that she hears her name and instead turns in that direction. she doesn't know the woman, doesn't think she does at least, her voice is unfamiliar but there's a way to her name that river knows she's heard before.
she sighs, preparing the answer she's been giving for the past-- while )
Professor River Song. I can't tell you any more than what I've told them.
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the thing is, she reminds herself, river's always been impossible.
noting river's irritability, the doctor moves to stand in front of her with her back to her. it's partly to face the crowd gathered around her and partly to give herself a small breather. she reaches into the inside of her coat, pulls out her psychic paper and holds it up (where, she hopes, river can't actually see it. one thing at a time), putting on her best authoritative tone. )
Everyone, if you could please move along. Professor Song obviously isn't up to answering any questions. ( when no one immediately makes any attempt to start moving, she rolls her eyes. ) Now, please!
( when some of them finally start shuffling away, the doctor busies herself with putting the paper away as slowly as could be considered normal, meanwhile almost psyching herself up for what's about to follow. she takes a deep breath and turns around. forces herself to meet river's eyes instead of staring at her in awe. )
Are you okay?
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she dips her head, trying not to make an obvious show of watching her but she is glad for her presence, glad for the space that's now been granted to her. the peace and distance now allow river a little time to think, to figure out some of her own questions. and one more.
are you okay? she laughs, a little humourless sound. that was one question that no one had really asked her so far, almost as if they were outraged by her presence rather than caring )
I don't know.
( her hands come in front of her, fingers wringing as she takes a couple of aimless steps )
I feel fine.
( physically. river doesn't know if it's that she doesn't want to say more or if it's that she doesn't know how to say what's bothering her )
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Well, I'm here to help. Any way I can.
( she isn't even sure why she doesn't come right out and say who she is. cautiousness, perhaps. this is entirely too good to be true, and she's waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Do you remember anything?
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Not about how I got here. ( back here. she remembered her expedition, her heart breaking at the doctor having never met her. she remembered dying, remembered parts of being in the data core. she knew this was the library but how? she was dead )
I don't even know who you are.
( not that she expects to considering she didn't know anyone here but this woman at least had her name )
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( she holds her hands up in a gesture that could be considered defensive. )
No, I don't suppose you do. I'm.. a bit new. Used to go by John. Suppose I should change that now.
( the tardis brought her here. brought her here for a reason - this reason, it seems. she always did have a soft spot for river. it's what the doctor reminds herself as she takes a step closer, eyeing her wife curiously. )
You tend to call me 'sweetie'.
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Doctor?
( it's soft, tentative. she wants it to be real, for this to be her explanation, but also because she feels infinitely more comforted just being in her loves presence -- more grounded particularly when things are so uncertain )
Did you-- ( do this. but what if the doctor didn't, if she didn't know either. instead, a small smile in place, she goes with-- ) You've regenerated.
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Few times since you saw me here. You know that, of course.
( almost uncertainly, the doctor starts to reach out but stops, hand hovering near river's own. there's still that little voice in her head telling her that this can't possibly be real. )
River, how are you-
( she stops, swallows again. she has questions, of course. but river has already made it clear that she doesn't know the answers, and the doctor doesn't want to push her. )
You're out.
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I am.
( she takes a step forward, grasping the hand that had stopped near her )
I thought with you here that you might have had something to do with it.
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I wish I could say it was me, that I'd found a way. The TARDIS brought me here.
( she breathes out a laugh. )
Thought she'd gotten something wrong, or she had the hump with me. Then there you were.
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the contact makes her smile, glad to actually feel her touch, and for something so... real. really real )
Well, I hope you're not going to make me find my own way out now.
( she'll have to thank the tardis later, her own version of love. that old girl always had her covered )
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( ... no. that's not right. )
Wife? Whatever. Doesn't matter.
( she moves her hand slightly, laces their fingers together. watches her hands as she does it before looking back up to meet river's eyes with a smile. )
Although, the old girl wouldn't budge. Even locked me out when I walked outside. I'm guessing she didn't want me leaving before I got you.
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I'm going to need a moment with her later.
( she'd already planned to find her for making sure the doctor found her but for refusing to leave until the doctor had, for not wanting to leave her behind-- she loved that old girl )
Take me home.
( to the tardis. river didn't really have a home, not a single place considering how much she travelled, how much she'd never settled or the time she'd spent in prison. the tardis was the one place that had always felt like home )
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Yeah, well. Have a word with her about this, will you? I could've done with some warning.
( she tugs on river's hand and leads her back to the tardis. they pass several people still lurking, still watching them, but she ignores them, concentrating on reaching their destination.
when they reach the tardis she places a hand on one of the doors, glancing back at river as she speaks. )
Happy now? Brought back your favourite.
( there's a hum from inside, then the click of the door opening. she gestures for river to go first, an excited glint in her eyes. )
After you. She's a bit different from last time, I think.
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She changes every time you do.
( a reflection on the doctor, a change after centuries of looking one way. the tardis had as much personality as they did.
river lets her hand slip from her wife's, running a hand down the door affectionately before stepping in. it had been-- she wasn't certain how long it had been since she'd last stepped inside, though river had seen many variations of this console room. each was special, though she can't help but have a soft spot for the first that she'd seen -- bowtie's.
she steps slowly around, almost circling the central console. river gives a gentle hum, resting her hand over the console, a momentary thanks. but it was only brief, a crunching under her foot disturbing it )
Doctor?
( why was the floor littered with biscuits? )
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Sorry. She decided I needed a biscuit dispenser this time around.
( sheepishly, the doctor rushes over and tries to sweep some of the mess away with her foot. when it doesn't really make much difference, she frowns and nods towards the foot pedal. )
I may have gotten a little overenthusiastic when I was trying to get her to listen to me earlier.
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( her tone should say that river doesn't really think that, guessing instead that the doctor was more panicked about being back at the library that she'd just hit any button in hopes of getting her to leave )
Though she won't thank you for making more mess.
( and the doctor would just have to clean it up anyway. she's stepping aside from the biscuits to not contribute further, hand reaching out again to rest on the doctor's )
I never thanked you. For coming.
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( it's hard to tell if she's joking or not, any hint of a smile gone at the contact. )
I wish I could say it was planned. Wish I could take the credit for getting you out, wish I even knew how you got out.
( she forces herself to look up, to meet river's gaze. her own hand comes up, fingers loosely wrapping around river's wrist. )
I can't, I don't. But when I saw you, there's no way was I leaving you behind.
( the again goes unsaid, but it's there. )
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( the word is quieted, expression a little sad just for those few seconds. it wasn't about getting her out even knowing what had happened, especially while river didn't know if she should know something. she was just relieved to be out, to be alive. and glad that the doctor had been there to pick her up )
We'll figure it out. ( more likely it would be one of those questions burning in the back of their minds, river probably gallivanting around again trying not to think about it. who wanted to think about the fact that they'd been dead? ) Just-- I'm glad it was you.
( that she'd been the one to find her, to pick her up. she'd have wanted no one else there )
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( she lets herself actually breathe then, easing the tension from her shoulders. she grins at her wife. her gloriously alive wife, and throws her arms around her shoulders. )
Anyone else would've heard your tone of voice and done a runner.
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( she lets her hands fall to her waist, trailing her fingers along. she's talking about the people that had first been there, those crowding and bombarding her with questions in the library. at least with the doctor they could take it slow, let her mind and memories catch up )
I suppose I should ask about this.
( she gives a light tug at the suspenders )
How many faces did-- ( did she miss, is the rest of the question that river can't quite finish )
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Hang on.
( she takes a small step back and counts them off on her fingers. first met river when she still wore pinstripes, then there was everything with bow-tie, then eyebrows... oh! )
None. Can you believe that? Was still Scottish not that long ago.
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( she sounds surprised if a little relieved. to not have missed out on anything... well, that would be a first )
How long has this been for you? This body.
( it would, could if river pressed, tell her how long it had been for the doctor since they'd been on darillium rather than tell her how long she'd been in the library. that time period was a strange one she didn't know if she'd ever be able to figure out )
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( at least, she doesn't think so. a lot had happened, but not nearly enough for it to have been more than a few weeks. )
Long enough to make some new friends and go on a few trips. I'd just dropped them off home for a bit when I ended up here.
( she holds her hands out, glances down at herself. )
I'm practically brand new.
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