And...? You can't just leave off there! I need the whole story. It's even better if someone dies. I don't mind if it's the ancient one or your team or what.
( she hadn't gone into this expecting to tell a story but fine )
Oh, I tell them better in person.
( she has a very good voice for it )
I drowned her. Her name was Prim. She'd been imprisoned in a tomb, buried alive but had never truly died. She'd somehow managed to drain the water from every living thing in the tomb to just sustain herself. Which she'd have continued doing to the planet.
I used dynamite to break a damn, flooding the area and tomb with water from the river. It was too much water even for her, killing her.
Bet. You're magnetic in person. I think it's pheromones.
[did she get a giggle out of river killing a bitch with a river? absolutely.]
Thanks bunches for indulging me. I love a good drowning. I love a good death by getting too much of exactly what they wanted. Water, freedom, et cetera et cetera.
Reminds me of old Borusa. He wanted immortality. Has your hubby told you this one?
[hell, she'd tell it differently from the version of herself that was there.]
Borusa was our tutor. I used to pray he'd regenerate into someone interesting, and finally he did. He became Lord President and went bananas.
So there was me, and Susan, and an insufferable amount of Doctors, [four out of a possible five, but if you ask missy, sometimes one is too many] but we didn't have to do anything in the end. He sorted himself out. He insisted on immortality, and so began life eternal as some sentient stone on the side of Rassilon's tomb.
( as much as she is part-time lord and has regenerated she doesn't have the same experiences and knowledge that missy does have. life eternal as a stone? do help her, missy )
[well! maybe river should be grateful that missy treats her like one of the cool kids? nicer than talking to her like a clueless puppy.]
I didn't leave much out!
Borusa believed that Rassilon's stuff would imbue him with power. Instead, it was booby trapped. As an archaeologist, you should appreciate that. He got what he wanted in the worst way.
( she has a very long list of reasons why she'd not intentionally visit gallifrey, particularly whilst rassilon still lived. most of them involve the fact that river enjoys being alive )
Why would I? I'm not welcome. Besides, it isn't what it used to be.
[they can go there but they can't go then. besides, she's not sure the time lords want her alive. they'd much prefer her dead, only to be resurrected in case of emergencies. that's her: the break-glass option. always was and always would be. and oh, she's still bitter about it.]
My home isn't a place. You know that, don't you? You suspect.
[never had a home? sorry, but she'd treat that assertion with the scepticism it deserves. river's home on darillium still exists whole and unchanged on the TARDIS, because a certain sentimental idiot couldn't bear to leave it behind.
nevertheless: yes, it's there somewhere. koschei is there somewhere too. sometimes recognition and understanding crackles between the renegades like lightning. it's frankly terrifying. this is so sad, alexa play 'golden slumbers/carry that weight'.]
I wasn't fishing for reassurance on that one, honey, but that's good of you to say. We're just a pair of merry murderesses, aren't we?
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( just in case. she's not going to pretend that she knows missy but river does know what she'd appreciate in prison. what she had appreciated )
The next time I find his TARDIS.
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[she's kidding. it's a bluff. she doesn't think for a second that's what river has in mind.]
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Then you'll be glad that isn't it.
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Give us a hint?
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( she's at least getting you something you'd be interested in even if you probably already know it )
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Got me all hot under the collar just thinking about it.
[seriously, that's better than a nudie calendar to some species.]
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What's new with digging up old stuff?
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How'd you kill her?
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Oh, I tell them better in person.
( she has a very good voice for it )
I drowned her. Her name was Prim. She'd been imprisoned in a tomb, buried alive but had never truly died. She'd somehow managed to drain the water from every living thing in the tomb to just sustain herself. Which she'd have continued doing to the planet.
I used dynamite to break a damn, flooding the area and tomb with water from the river. It was too much water even for her, killing her.
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[did she get a giggle out of river killing a bitch with a river? absolutely.]
Thanks bunches for indulging me. I love a good drowning. I love a good death by getting too much of exactly what they wanted. Water, freedom, et cetera et cetera.
Reminds me of old Borusa. He wanted immortality. Has your hubby told you this one?
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I'm sure you'd tell it differently if he had.
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Borusa was our tutor. I used to pray he'd regenerate into someone interesting, and finally he did. He became Lord President and went bananas.
So there was me, and Susan, and an insufferable amount of Doctors, [four out of a possible five, but if you ask missy, sometimes one is too many] but we didn't have to do anything in the end. He sorted himself out. He insisted on immortality, and so began life eternal as some sentient stone on the side of Rassilon's tomb.
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( as much as she is part-time lord and has regenerated she doesn't have the same experiences and knowledge that missy does have. life eternal as a stone? do help her, missy )
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I didn't leave much out!
Borusa believed that Rassilon's stuff would imbue him with power. Instead, it was booby trapped. As an archaeologist, you should appreciate that. He got what he wanted in the worst way.
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A fitting end. Not quite as interesting as a good ending could have been.
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[that's just what happened! no sense complaining about it. which one of them needs entertainment here anyway?]
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It's one more reason to stay away.
( she has a very long list of reasons why she'd not intentionally visit gallifrey, particularly whilst rassilon still lived. most of them involve the fact that river enjoys being alive )
Did you ever go back?
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[they can go there but they can't go then. besides, she's not sure the time lords want her alive. they'd much prefer her dead, only to be resurrected in case of emergencies. that's her: the break-glass option. always was and always would be. and oh, she's still bitter about it.]
My home isn't a place. You know that, don't you? You suspect.
[theta is home.]
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no, amy's childhood home-- that had been home even if she'd never truly been able to enjoy it. but she'd always felt safe there.
but, like missy, there was somewhere else that she felt safe, someone else that felt like home to her )
I do.
It's there, somewhere.
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nevertheless: yes, it's there somewhere. koschei is there somewhere too. sometimes recognition and understanding crackles between the renegades like lightning. it's frankly terrifying. this is so sad, alexa play 'golden slumbers/carry that weight'.]
I wasn't fishing for reassurance on that one, honey, but that's good of you to say.
We're just a pair of merry murderesses, aren't we?
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