( it shuts her up. the doctor has always had a way with words even if quill has tried to buck back in the past. they've seen more of the universe than she has and it's why, when everything is so unknown, quill is literally putting her life in the alien's hands.
this time the pause comes with her thinking. quill knows how humans handle this, she'd said such a thing to tanya when comparing what they did with legacies. you give your legacy every day as you live. you can shape it. could quill do that? could she shape her life, could she shape this child's life? )
I don't even know where to begin.
( quill feels like she's going to regret asking that )
Well, I think I'm going to have to buy more towels. But that can happen later. Unless you think you're about to burst now?
( A critical look between screen and Quill, before she's shaking her head. )
No. I'm fairly certain we've got a little bit of time. You don't have any labour signs. The TARDIS can monitor you for those. She's an excellent midwife.
( Another glance back, the screen still glowing slightly. )
( okay, doctor, you're really going to need to stop doing that. she'd just started calming down about the baby thing with her worries and doubts and then you mention labour and having it now.
this time she doesn't look away but that panic does still show in her expression. one hand comes to rest on the side of her stomach, the other punctuates her speech )
Doctor, how long do I have?
( to live is still her first instinctual thought but then she shifts that to until i have this child. whether or not she believes that she will live quill doesn't want to die and she knows that this woman is her best shot at staying alive.
she still has so many questions and even if part of her is curious to see what the doctor is so excited about she doesn't know if she can bring herself to do it. yet. let one thing stop swimming in her head first )
A month, maybe two. I didn't think it would actually be possible for you to get pregnant with a human so I'd have to do some reading. But judging by all the fingers and toes and how big she is, I'd think you were pretty far along.
( Because #assumptions. )
Obviously we can't take you to a hospital but we can get you some antenatal books. You need to practise the breathing.
( saying you need to practice the breathing is really funny because currently, her breathing is terrible. sorry, did you just assume she'd slept with a human? )
Human? No. No, no, no.
( god, give her a minute to be disgusted.
and then, now taking a deeper breath, quill explains-- )
He-- he was Lorr.
( was. he'd died and even though quill hadn't known him well, didn't have feelings there was a shared commonality between them. a soldier's life, people that were trapped. lost. it had been enough and it could have been more )
( A shapeshifter then. Well, half. Maybe that's why she looks more human. The Doctor wonders if that's something to do with the environment. Adapting to survive.
She catches that was though, a wince crossing her face. )
( andrea quill has definitely made a mess out of her life and she isn't even going to deny it )
I, uh-- know very little about them.
( only what she'd seen and experienced in those few hours. she didn't even know their true form -- she'd seen what his hands could do, and he could do many wonderful things with them, but-- what would her child look like when she didn't assume a form? )
Show me.
( though quill doesn't move to wards the screen she's more ready to see it. she needs to know what's on it, what her daughter looks like )
I haven't had many run-ins with them. Or I guess, if I have they've not wanted me to know I had. They're shapeshifters?
( She turns the screen so Andrea can see it from where she's stood, a baby who looks mostly human shaped. There are hands and feet. Maybe now the Doctor knows the truth she can see where there are abnormalities, differences from the form her mother's currently wearing, but they're nothing to worry about. )
( there's a small nod that quill gives at the question before the screen turns. they're shapeshifters and she was incredibly fortunate that she'd met him. he'd saved her life, he'd freed her-- they had changed everything and part of quill wishes that he was still here. even if they weren't a thing this was still his child, part of his legacy-- his people.
when the screen turns quill goes silent. oh, she'd been quiet already but this is a different kind, almost a breath taken away sort of silence. she isn't quite certain what she'd been expecting to see or feel at the image but--
almost as if knowing the baby moves, a sharp kick before a calmer series of flurries. as surprising as the feeling still is, causing her to gasp, hands moving to her stomach, the strength she can appreciate. her child is already every bit the warrior she is -- that both her parents were )
He was my surgeon. ( the first comment she's made about the scar across her eye, her newly regained freedom ) Then he was killed.
( yeah. they'd met, fought together, won the battle of her life, fucked and-- it had been a busy day )
( A small smile at Andrea covering her stomach. She's not trying to be pitying. This is clearly one of the hardest things the other woman is going to go through. )
I'm sorry.
( It's all she can really offer. That and helping Andrea survive the birth. )
( what? fine? it hadn't been anything but there'd certainly been a moment, a promise between them-- everything had been promised to change one way or another )
She's a shapeshifter. ( there's an obvious changing of track. they've spoken about feelings far too much already for her liking ) That's why you thought she was human.
( because whilst quill doesn't have other experience to go off she can tell that the baby looks distinctly human-shaped. it certainly isn't quill-shaped )
I don't know why this form, but she seems to have gotten it down quite well. I'm actually quite impressed. ( A twitch of a smile. ) How has the pregnancy been otherwise? Sickness? Any ailments?
( yeah, well, when your mother also wears that form well-- but it'll help. if her baby is already looking passably human it'll make things easier in the long run.
there's also a slightly awkward expression, one hand slips from her stomach to rest at her side )
Yeah, I've known about this for about a day.
( quill might have said it happened a week ago but she didn't say what she'd been doing in that week. she only knows the vague time frame from finding out the date after she'd woken up )
I have no idea what's supposed to be normal.
( though if she actually answered the question-- no sickness or anything else, just extra ferocity (normal) and still allowing her to kick ass with ease )
( No wonder Andrea seems stressed. The Doctor hums a little, but paints on another smile. )
Well, who really knows what normal is these days anyway. You're a Quill! And you're having a baby that's part Lorr, the first one of her kind, probably, and who might end up being delivered by a Time Lord. ( A cheeky grin, sorry. ) The good thing is we can figure it out.
( so off point but god, she sounds even more ridiculous than the grumpy scottish bloke had been. can she get him back? he feels like he'd have been much more down to the point even if it would have been weird )
Okay. A month or so.
( in which she'd probably be very busy with a lot of things to do that even with how much the doctor was offering help she'd probably do alone. because that's apparently her way -- she is alone, she feels it and what are friends? especially when the person that's your better option is far too optimistic )
It's going to be a long month.
( or short with how much she has to do and figure out. who knows )
( it was one thing that she'd asked for the doctor's help on a medical basis but... god. she had no idea of what she was doing. making a list? actually caring for someone else? )
I'm not staying in this-- thing for a month.
( sorry tardis but she's feeling too defensive currently to properly name you. or be polite )
( maybe not those exact words but a similar sort of sentiment from the doctor. and how could this be made right? even with help and not ending up dead-- months of he life were gone, months of time that she really could have used. this child was really screwed.
she falls silent, taking her coffee through to sit at the table before drinking it )
This is it. Last of the mighty Quill.
( down to someone who seemed to be fucking up her life and a child she had no hope of helping )
( She knows exactly where Andrea is coming from. She's felt that ache before. And she knows it will never, ever fully go away. But maybe with time Andrea can see it as something good instead.
( annoyingly he'd known before she did, had six days to think on it whilst she hibernated. not that it had done anything, not that he could or would do anything. she hadn't given him answers and quill didn't expect that she would. any of them )
They know I'm pregnant. That's it.
( and there's a finality to the final two words, a statement saying that that was all they ever would know. they were children and even if they weren't-- no one needed to know her business )
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no subject
this time the pause comes with her thinking. quill knows how humans handle this, she'd said such a thing to tanya when comparing what they did with legacies. you give your legacy every day as you live. you can shape it. could quill do that? could she shape her life, could she shape this child's life? )
I don't even know where to begin.
( quill feels like she's going to regret asking that )
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( A critical look between screen and Quill, before she's shaking her head. )
No. I'm fairly certain we've got a little bit of time. You don't have any labour signs. The TARDIS can monitor you for those. She's an excellent midwife.
( Another glance back, the screen still glowing slightly. )
Sure you don't want a peak?
no subject
this time she doesn't look away but that panic does still show in her expression. one hand comes to rest on the side of her stomach, the other punctuates her speech )
Doctor, how long do I have?
( to live is still her first instinctual thought but then she shifts that to until i have this child. whether or not she believes that she will live quill doesn't want to die and she knows that this woman is her best shot at staying alive.
she still has so many questions and even if part of her is curious to see what the doctor is so excited about she doesn't know if she can bring herself to do it. yet. let one thing stop swimming in her head first )
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( Because #assumptions. )
Obviously we can't take you to a hospital but we can get you some antenatal books. You need to practise the breathing.
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Human? No. No, no, no.
( god, give her a minute to be disgusted.
and then, now taking a deeper breath, quill explains-- )
He-- he was Lorr.
( was. he'd died and even though quill hadn't known him well, didn't have feelings there was a shared commonality between them. a soldier's life, people that were trapped. lost. it had been enough and it could have been more )
no subject
( Oh. )
Oh.
( A shapeshifter then. Well, half. Maybe that's why she looks more human. The Doctor wonders if that's something to do with the environment. Adapting to survive.
She catches that was though, a wince crossing her face. )
That makes more sense.
no subject
Then you'll have to explain it to me.
( andrea quill has definitely made a mess out of her life and she isn't even going to deny it )
I, uh-- know very little about them.
( only what she'd seen and experienced in those few hours. she didn't even know their true form -- she'd seen what his hands could do, and he could do many wonderful things with them, but-- what would her child look like when she didn't assume a form? )
Show me.
( though quill doesn't move to wards the screen she's more ready to see it. she needs to know what's on it, what her daughter looks like )
no subject
( She turns the screen so Andrea can see it from where she's stood, a baby who looks mostly human shaped. There are hands and feet. Maybe now the Doctor knows the truth she can see where there are abnormalities, differences from the form her mother's currently wearing, but they're nothing to worry about. )
You didn't spend long together?
no subject
when the screen turns quill goes silent. oh, she'd been quiet already but this is a different kind, almost a breath taken away sort of silence. she isn't quite certain what she'd been expecting to see or feel at the image but--
almost as if knowing the baby moves, a sharp kick before a calmer series of flurries. as surprising as the feeling still is, causing her to gasp, hands moving to her stomach, the strength she can appreciate. her child is already every bit the warrior she is -- that both her parents were )
He was my surgeon. ( the first comment she's made about the scar across her eye, her newly regained freedom ) Then he was killed.
( yeah. they'd met, fought together, won the battle of her life, fucked and-- it had been a busy day )
no subject
( A small smile at Andrea covering her stomach. She's not trying to be pitying. This is clearly one of the hardest things the other woman is going to go through. )
I'm sorry.
( It's all she can really offer. That and helping Andrea survive the birth. )
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( what? fine? it hadn't been anything but there'd certainly been a moment, a promise between them-- everything had been promised to change one way or another )
She's a shapeshifter. ( there's an obvious changing of track. they've spoken about feelings far too much already for her liking ) That's why you thought she was human.
( because whilst quill doesn't have other experience to go off she can tell that the baby looks distinctly human-shaped. it certainly isn't quill-shaped )
no subject
( Better to be honest. )
I don't know why this form, but she seems to have gotten it down quite well. I'm actually quite impressed. ( A twitch of a smile. ) How has the pregnancy been otherwise? Sickness? Any ailments?
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there's also a slightly awkward expression, one hand slips from her stomach to rest at her side )
Yeah, I've known about this for about a day.
( quill might have said it happened a week ago but she didn't say what she'd been doing in that week. she only knows the vague time frame from finding out the date after she'd woken up )
I have no idea what's supposed to be normal.
( though if she actually answered the question-- no sickness or anything else, just extra ferocity (normal) and still allowing her to kick ass with ease )
no subject
Well, who really knows what normal is these days anyway. You're a Quill! And you're having a baby that's part Lorr, the first one of her kind, probably, and who might end up being delivered by a Time Lord. ( A cheeky grin, sorry. ) The good thing is we can figure it out.
no subject
( so off point but god, she sounds even more ridiculous than the grumpy scottish bloke had been. can she get him back? he feels like he'd have been much more down to the point even if it would have been weird )
Okay. A month or so.
( in which she'd probably be very busy with a lot of things to do that even with how much the doctor was offering help she'd probably do alone. because that's apparently her way -- she is alone, she feels it and what are friends? especially when the person that's your better option is far too optimistic )
It's going to be a long month.
( or short with how much she has to do and figure out. who knows )
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( It's cheery, but in reality it's probably going to pass fast simply for how much they have to do and how little they know. )
We should probably make a list so we don't get distracted.
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( it was one thing that she'd asked for the doctor's help on a medical basis but... god. she had no idea of what she was doing. making a list? actually caring for someone else? )
I'm not staying in this-- thing for a month.
( sorry tardis but she's feeling too defensive currently to properly name you. or be polite )
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( She's going to bound out into Andrea's kitchen once more, making herself at home without thinking to ask. )
Do you have any biscuits?
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What are you doing?
( yeah, no biscuits for you. or tea )
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( Obviously. )
Wait, didn't Mothercare close down? Or is that next year? There was a whole baby riot thing.
( Maybe it's in two years. )
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I have no idea what you're talking about.
( quill will at least retrieve the coffee she'd made before. thankfully its still warm )
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( Although eventually might not be any comfort to someone who could go into a surprise labour any moment now.
More sincerely. )
I'm going to do everything I can to make this right, Andrea.
no subject
( maybe not those exact words but a similar sort of sentiment from the doctor. and how could this be made right? even with help and not ending up dead-- months of he life were gone, months of time that she really could have used. this child was really screwed.
she falls silent, taking her coffee through to sit at the table before drinking it )
This is it. Last of the mighty Quill.
( down to someone who seemed to be fucking up her life and a child she had no hope of helping )
no subject
( She knows exactly where Andrea is coming from. She's felt that ache before. And she knows it will never, ever fully go away. But maybe with time Andrea can see it as something good instead.
A miracle. Something to hope for. )
Do the others know? I imagine they must.
( What with the being heavily pregnant thing. )
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( annoyingly he'd known before she did, had six days to think on it whilst she hibernated. not that it had done anything, not that he could or would do anything. she hadn't given him answers and quill didn't expect that she would. any of them )
They know I'm pregnant. That's it.
( and there's a finality to the final two words, a statement saying that that was all they ever would know. they were children and even if they weren't-- no one needed to know her business )
(no subject)