delcattys | ( @bexxen )

[ Zelda is in the same position. Having no idea how to fill the silence drinks from her straw again, only to find the milkshake gone and she's just sucking unattractively from the bottom of the glass.

How do mortals do any of this? ]

I'm glad you didn't. [ She tilts her head, and looks at her. It's not a look of admiration, or respect, or fear. Just affection. ] I want to apologize. For how I behaved after dinner.

( though lilith's attention had been on her the comment really makes her stop and look at her, focusing entirely on her. her expression softens slightly, knowing that the comment doesn't come without meaning and though lilith had felt the hurt from zelda's actions it makes her really realise how much it had hurt. how unexpectedly so.

her head dips ever so slightly, her words carefully selected as she speaks. though lilith is used to pain and betrayal, expecting people not to care about her-- it's when they do care that she finds it really hurts. and how she's not entirely certain how to proceed about it. with adam she'd given her heart freely, perhaps too soon but he'd given her all she'd ever wanted. with zelda though she believes the witch will give her that, recognises the respect and acceptance-- she's more cautious, trying to guard herself from any pain however unintentional )

I don't come to you as a Queen. ( though she hopes that she'll always be zelda's queen, that lucifer will never return and that zelda will be her high priestess-- she isn't looking for a consort. she's separating her title from her wishes. when lilith had initially said that she was looking for a partner she was looking for someone equal. she didn't want to dominate in a relationship, have someone submit or be lower than her. she wanted her love to be equal -- it's all she'd ever wanted )

But a woman. Someone who-- respects you. ( and more but expressing feelings is new. for so long she's shut them away to hide any vulnerabilities, both from those that would oppose her and lucifer. she could never appear to be weak ) Someone that hopes you see past that title.

( because whilst loving the queen of hell was a very advantageous position that wasn't what lilith wanted. zelda may seek power and perhaps in time such a thing may at least be well reflected for her in the wiccan community. but lilith was a little bit of a romantic fool. if the woman only wanted power then it wouldn't get far )

You didn't have that title when we first met.

[ The circumstances they had met under, while strange, had been easier to grasp. Back when she was simply Sabrina's teacher and someone Zelda could discount without thought. Maybe there had been a flirtation there--a fine one, barely noticeable except perhaps in retrospect--but it hadn't held any weight. She'd had far too much going on, what with Sabrina's antics and the coven and, well, Blackwood.

Now, it is difficult to parse the woman and the Queen. She's not Sabrina's teacher. She's Lilith, the first woman and the first witch, the one who reigns over the very path that Zelda walks. It's much more complicated than she can even explain. ]

Is it that simple, though? [ She leans forward, setting her glass down on the table. It isn't a challenge or an interrogation. Zelda isn't passing any judgment. She's seeking guidance, hoping that Lilith might have the patience to help her sort out where she stands in all of this. ] I am your High Priestess. If we were to proceed in... Well, whatever we wish to call this arrangement, would that not cause complications? A conflict of interest?

[ It might be simpler for Lilith to put them on equal ground, but Zelda doesn't know how to. She helped Lilith dethrone Lucifer not for loyalty, but to protect her niece. For Zelda it was necessary but for Lilith it was personal. Brutal.

What would happen if Zelda misstepped? Hurt her, broken her heart as the Dark Lord did? What would that drive Lilith to do? ]

It may not be simple.

( love wasn't, as much as lilith wished it so and she didn't expect anything stemming from it to be simple just because that was what she wanted. but she'd try to make it simple )

But it does not stop it being possible. You're not simply my High Priestess. You're a woman, a witch, loyal and capable.

( she wasn't speaking to just hand out compliments but perhaps to point out that lilith saw her as all of these things, perhaps even more. that she was speaking to the woman and not her job )

But perhaps asking whether your desires are for my title or me may shed some clarity.

( because lilith had her answer. she'd subtly flirted, antagonised zelda when she'd solely been sabrina's aunt )

I don't desire your title. I know that now. I'm the High Priestess of the Church of Lilith, there is no other title I desire, certainly not consort to the Queen.

[ To be fair, she hadn't exactly desired that title to begin with, because it never occurred her it would be possible. Marrying the High Priest was as close as she would ever be; she wasn't like Sabrina, coming up with wild dreams that coincidentally became a reality. Zelda suspects Sabrina will happily follow in her footsteps.

Of course, very technically, Blackwood had been right. There would never be a High Priestess in the Church of Night. He'd destroyed that church before such a thing would be possible. ]

But people will gossip. Assumptions will be made. They won't care how pure my intentions - or yours. And while I normally do not care what others think of me, these are trying times. They will try and cast doubt.

[ Everyone knew why she married Blackwood, and she knows what they will think of this. Not that she isn't deserving of her reputation. ]

If you are ever to think my motives are displaced, I need your assurance that it is I and only I who will bear the consequences. That my family will not suffer for my transgressions.

[ Zelda doesn't think Lilith would hurt her family, but she's not sure if that's simply her affection for the woman talking. Broken hearts can cloud judgment, and there would be no better way for Lilith to hurt Zelda than to hurt Sabrina, or Hilda, or Ambrose. And Lilith knows that weakness well. ]

( they would gossip if they knew. whilst lilith wouldn't go out of her way to hide a relationship, not out of shame but she did enjoy her privacy and in her opinion this relationship was only their business, something to keep as quiet and private as they desired. she could withstand gossip, easily ignore it-- it would be the gossipers that found themselves in a bad place if it went too far.

but she wasn't going to lead with that even if it would be a solution to a problem. she wasn't him. lilith did threaten, did occasionally use fear but at choice moments. she wouldn't use it to rule.

but she doesn't get a chance to respond, zelda continuing. and the next part-- though she can understand why zelda says it it still offends her, that zelda would even need to question it )

Anything between us is simply that. Gossipers or your family -- they may be aware but this-- relationship is not theirs.

( is that the right word? in the long term yes but for the moment? they're attempting a date after vague feelings admission it's certainly not yet a relationship. but-- lilith finds that she'd want it to be )

[ Zelda visibly flushes at the word relationship - she didn't want to be the one to say it, to force any conditions on what they have been discussing without Lilith's approval. She doesn't want to make assumptions, but she supposes that it is the closest to the right word as either may be able to find. ]

You must understand, I don't mean to assume to the method in which you choose to rule. But I lived for 500 years with the expectations of the Dark Lord pushed upon me. I... I feared him, as we all did. I don't mistrust your affection for my family, or for me. But there are some habits, some misconceptions, that will be hard to move past.

[ The last thing Zelda wants to do is offend her. No - the last thing she wants to do is hurt her. The Dark Lord did enough of that on his own.

She still has never admitted to anyone the terror that settled into her heart when Lucifer came to her on her wedding night. She'd slept with many men over the years in search of power, or at least fleeting company. But that was by her choice.

But it was also normal, for their kind. Expected, and thus, accepted. It wasn't until as of late, since Sabrina's sixteenth birthday, that the understanding of how wrong it all was began to slowly sink in. But even then, she couldn't quite understand why. ]

Centuries of subjugation is what has formed our community, and it was how he kept an unwavering hold upon it. While his hand may no longer be upon us, it is still in our nature to fear that which has the power to harm us. And to harm those we love.

( she's quiet, carefully considering what to say because whilst lilith is intimately familiar with parts of it, has been subjugated for more than 500 years, has lived with his expectations for millennia-- she's also never truly live in a wiccan community. the mother of magic separated from what she created.

it causes her to avert her eyes, trying to shift through some of her memories, pushing back down the times where she'd tried to leave him, where she'd lived among mortals or witches, had tried to find her own love-- and had lost so much more for trying, not just from herself and his wrath but the deaths of that community or lover she'd been with. until eventually she'd given up, had worked solely for his plan in hopes that it really would be the better thing, trying to no longer care or think of her own wishes )

I don't expect you to forget. ( it would be an impossible task to. lilith would never be able to forget so she could not expect anyone else to ) Realising that there is a different way will take time, that I do know. And-- I do have plans in place for that.

( things that lilith had initially planned to discuss at a different time. but it was easier to talk about the church and honestly-- it let them just talk, something freer. and it did allow zelda to get to know what she wanted, who she really was because after all, aside from the unholy bible what did she know of who lilith was? of what she wanted? )

I spoke before of your coronation. With the coven beginning to heal it would be a pleasant start to the church. To give them a direction and a reason to celebrate.

[ Zelda relaxed a little. Lilith doesn't seem angry and, if anything, sounds open to understanding which is so much more than Zelda would have asked. She's still not accustomed to speaking her mind--if Lilith wants a real rundown of the toxicity of witch culture she's best off speaking to Sabrina--but what little she does have to say is, she feels, important.

The mention of her coronation again gets her attention and Zelda perks up, perfectly happy for the change in subject. ]

I think it's a marvelous idea. Perhaps it will help to reframe our consciousness and put the coven at ease. [ They could use all the comfort they could get at the moment, with everything in such turmoil. ] It may also help them to see you. To know that you are present, that you care about their welfare.

( lilith gave a slight nod, refocusing her attention back to zelda, relaxing slightly into the chair. she'd be there, even if the coven wasn't in the state it was in lilith would have been there. a coronation was always an enjoyable event. well, this one would be )

I trust that you can settle the when? There are certain-- rituals that I need to prepare, some that I'll guide you through.

( guess who's going to see you again before the coronation. not even considered: second date? )

Your guidance is essential to me.

[ She pauses, taking a breath before reaching out and placing her hand gently over Lilith's. ]

As is your companionship, and not always as my Queen.

( there's a slight softening of her expression, lilith turning her hand over underneath zelda's, letting her thumb rub along the tops of her fingers )

Then-- perhaps you'll come somewhere with me?

( so much for lunch, though whilst lilith had initially thought that sitting in the diner might be simpler perhaps the walk will be )

[ Zelda looks down at their hands, feeling a rash of warmth across her neck and she hopes it obvious how much she is blushing. ]

Of course. Wherever you would like.

[ She's fine with forgetting about lunch. That milkshake filled her up, anyway. ]

( the contact of their hands breaks as lilith shifts to move out of the booth, though she'll wait by the table for zelda to join her before leaving. though she doesn't specifically reach for her hand there's more freedom in the movement than usual, where her arms would be more tucked to her sides.

lilith leads her out and being the middle of the day the streets are fairly quiet, though she waits until they're down one of the side alleys before taking her hand, meeting her gaze before teleporting them out.

it's the park that adam had taken her to but even with that painful memory-- it was the first place that had come to mind. somewhere quiet and peaceful to walk, to be with the nature around them and be out of greendale. away from family, responsibilities. any prying eyes of the coven )

I've only been here once before but it left a mark.

[ It's an unexpected place to come to, and Zelda looks around, taking in the trees and the smell of the country and the air. She's not much a nature walk person, and she feels a bit out of place, but Lilith's words placate her. ]

It's rather lovely. I'm afraid I don't get out much.

[ By choice, but she'll leave that hanging. Lilith's hand is still in hers and she's no reason to let go. ]

What happened here that had such an influence on you?

( as soon as the question hits lilith wonders if she made a mistake coming here but-- no. she has fond memories as well as where it ended, even if zelda will note that there's more to this story than that positive experience, sadness hidden beneath the surface )

I was given hope of a better life.

( a life away from lucifer, something that lilith was afraid to take even though she desired it. though she knows had she managed to have that life with adam none of them would be in this position now. he hadn't deserved to die but perhaps the rest will be better.

she keeps her hand in zelda's, walking them along the path, past the water that runs through )

It had felt strange to come here after being in Greendale again. That town manages to leave quite the impression on a person.

[ Although it doesn't sound like a bad memory, she can't help but pick up on the sadness that the comment implies. Perhaps whatever happened here was what drove Lilith to approach the Spellmans with honesty, to join them in their stand against Lucifer. Perhaps, it was something else.

Zelda pauses on the bridge, turning to look down at the water. Being out here, walking idly with the other woman, hand-in-hand, she can almost forget about everything else. About her role as High Priestess, about her life as a witch, her fears and trepidations. It's just her and the woman she has come to care for, with the rest of the world far away.

She wonders if this is how Edward felt with Diana. If this feeling is why he was willing to risk everything, to break the rules, to be with her. Maybe a moment like this was worth it. ]

Greendale is certainly unique. But I couldn't imagine being elsewhere. It's where I belong.

( lilith understands that feeling. she felt it about hell and yet now that she was back there she kept finding reasons to return to greendale. at least they weren't far, though distance as a witch meant little )

You've never left?

( though her head tips slightly in zelda's direction, tone thoughtful she's still looking out across the water )

Not since our family settled here, no. I didn't see a need to. I have everything I could want here.

[ Her business, her home, her family. Everything and everyone she cared for. She wouldn't find that elsewhere. ]

It must be quite the opposite for you, having had nowhere truly to settle.

( the assumption quietens her slightly because whilst it is true it wasn't for a lack of trying )

Much of what I've seen has been on his mission.

( just to get zelda the scale of it )

Some I was able to remain for a time.

[ That admission just makes Zelda sad. Her grip on Lilith's hand tightens just a bit. ]

I can't imagine it. I've always had my family with me. And it became all the more important when Edward died.

[ At least she had Sabrina. A part of her brother that stayed with her. ]

Perhaps, now, you have a reason to remain. For a time.

( now she turns her head to look at zelda, affection in her expression )

At the very least continue returning for.

( she didn't think she'd be able to leave hell for an extended period but having zelda to come back to would certainly be a light )

I-- like that I do. It's a comfort during all of this.

[ Zelda turns her head to look at Lilith in turn, and her emotions get the best of her. She leans in, pressing her lips to the other witch's. They may have kissed before, but this time feels... different. Perhaps it's because Zelda's motives have changed. That Lilith gave them an allowance to.

That different feeling is what makes Zelda pull back, suddenly self-concious. ]

I apolgize. That was rash.

But not unwelcome.

( she was surprised when the kiss began but equally surprised with how quickly it ended, having just started relaxing into it.

but here's the thing now-- does she kiss her again? would that be welcome or receptive? caught in indecision lilith looks at her, head dipping slightly )

But if it's too soon--

( letting zelda be the get out card )

No--

[ Zelda shakes her head, putting her hand gently on Lilith's arm. ]

It's not too soon. Not for me. But if it is for you...

[ For once, she isn't saying it waiting for an order, a demand. She simply wants to know what Lilith wants, to know they are on the same page when it came to wherever this is going. ]

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