[ Dinner was, as promised, theatrical. Hilda prepared what was probably the finest meal she had in her lifetime (aside from whatever she prepared for the Dark Lord in that wretched nightmare, but that didn't count) and Sabrina, somehow, managed to be on her best behavior. Ambrose was still missing in action, although that did not come as a surprise to anyone, probably.
Once the meal concluded, Sabrina excused herself to the parlor to finish her homework (or to sneak out and cohort with her mortal friends, more likely) and Zelda hurried Hilda off in search of some coffee Zelda knew they didn't have. Which leaves Zelda and Lilith in the warmth of the Spellman kitchen, surrounded by the odds and ends that make their home the place of sanctuary that it is.
Zelda lights a cigarette and pours them each a glass of scotch, setting it down in front of Lilith as she slides into her own seat. ]
I hope the meal was to your liking. Hilda was quite excited to entertain you.
( she's leaning into the table, one arm resting on it, hand cradling the glass. her expression is a little freer and whilst lilith had been light all evening, enjoying the conversation with hilda and sabrina she feels much more relaxed now that it's just the two of them )
It was. Hilda's a wonderful cook.
( she drinks a little of the scotch and whilst she could lean back in her chair, relax a little her attention is entirely on zelda )
[ Zelda, in turn, leans towards her. To say that this dinner wasn't at least partially manipulative would be a lie, but Zelda is still glad to have the company. Especially this specific company. ]
Hilda's greatest magic has always been done in the kitchen. We're blessed to have her. [ She smiles affectionately. It wasn't long ago that the compliment would have been paired with a disparaging remark, but Zelda's relationship with Hilda has come a long way in the past few months. ]
Not as much as it would seem. My family has always come first. In my darkest moments, the ones that leave me with such doubt... It is in them that I find the light to mark my way.
[ At least that is something she can say to Lilith without fear, or judgement. She is loyal to Lilith, too, but only because it does not come with the price of turning her back on her family. After what the Dark Lord did, Zelda suspects she would now stray from the Path of Night without hesitation if it meant keeping Sabrina safe. In a way, she already has. What they did they day they defeated the Dark Lord was forge their own path. ]
I'm am just glad that all of us benefited through the choices we've made. [ This time, Zelda reaches out to lay her hand on Lilith's. ] Whatever you ask of me is but a debt now, and a deserved one.
( with anyone else lilith would never dare to admit this but with zelda-- already lilith feels as if she can trust her, not yet knowing her well but having gone through something so large with her, something life-altering.
her next words are a little quieter though no less direct, wanting zelda to be confident in her position. in both of their positions )
The choices that we made are ones that we all made. ( whilst lilith would make certain to keep them all safe, to keep the problem of lucifer confined to hell if anything did ever occur, she wouldn't have zelda believe that she was indebted to her. not how the witch believed it )
I would not have my freedom without your family. ( and that was something that she didn't think of lightly ) There is no debt. Perhaps instead partnership.
( they've already proven how well they work together )
A consort may sit beside her Queen, but still beneath her. The power you have will always be present in mind, partnership or otherwise.
[ Zelda would never, in a million years, allow herself to be thought of as an equal to Lilith. Even if she does have affection for the woman, the fact of the matter is Lilith is a queen, and the power she wields is paramount to all else.
Of course, Zelda has learned to carefully balance submission and dominance, but there are some truths that simply cannot be avoided. So whatever Lilith asks for, she will be given.
And there are some things Zelda will give more freely than others. ]
But if it is a partnership you desire-- [ Zelda traces her finger gently across Lilith's skin, and she wonders if her heart might beat right out of her chest. ] You'll find no better ally than the Spellmans. Than I.
( she wouldn't deny it. lilith might not consider zelda to owe her anything but she didn't forget their positions. she just-- wasn't currently thinking about them.
lilith had come here tonight as a friend rather than as a queen, a hope of better getting to know zelda, of pursuing what they'd started in the church which given zelda's words, the contact zelda's giving her-- she's not disagreeable )
And if it's not simply an ally that I seek?
( she's sat straighter in her chair, lust creeping into the look that she gives zelda.
a swift motion has her turning her hand over to grasp at zelda's wrist, standing from her chair and stepping around the table, a gentle tug on zelda's arm to encourage her up )
[ Lilith's grasp around her wrist is almost painful, exquisitely so, and she allows herself to be readily dragged to her feet. She uses the force of Lilith's grip to pull herself close to the other woman, close enough that she can nearly feel the heat off of her, can smell the light scent of Hellfire and brimstone and something else, something softer.
Her heartbeat pounds in her ears and Zelda moves even closer, her mouth close enough that a gentle shift from either direction would cause theirs to meet. She watches Lilith's eyes closely, testing these newfound boundaries in every way she can. ]
( there's no hesitation in her words, zelda agreeing, offering herself out. there's a small doubt in her mind that wonders how real this is but lilith squashes that sown. if she listened to her doubt she wouldn't act and given the night in the church--
her hand comes up to brush zelda's hair back from her face, other releasing her wrists to interwine their fingers, cupping her cheek before she leans in.
there's less hesitation this time, kiss firmer over the previous lighter touch though still slow, drawing it out, not yet giving over to her lust. because if she did she'd jump to fucking her on the table, not something she'd complain about but-- well, maybe it would happen. lilith knows that she wants her but she's never had a relationship develop before )
[ Of course, Zelda immediately cooperates, her mouth meeting Lilith's in a kiss that is both practiced and skilled, enough pressure of a promise without too much to push. The fact of the matter is, she thoroughly expects to be fucked on the table, right then and there, because it's what she knows. For all the acceptance of pansexual and polyamorous witches, Zelda has never been with a woman, so she only knows what to expect from her experience.
And men take what they want - sometimes, whether or not it is offered. In this case, Zelda has offered herself, but she has no illusions that what Lilith wants isn't far from what Faustus desired. Power, through submission. Respect and reverence, at the expense of Zelda's pride. At the expense of her autonomy.
She doubts Lilith will go that far, but it's hard to entirely shake those expectations of being used. Or, perhaps worse, finding a way to use in return.
Still, she rests her free hand on her shoulder, sliding it down to brush against her breast. When she finally breaks the kiss to catch her breath, her lips barely move away, still brushing against Lilith's as she speaks. ]
( it would be easy to lose herself in zelda, to press her against the table and give her something wonderful, to show the gratitude that she feels.
but zelda's words make her pause, leaning slightly back to really look at her. it didn't feel natural, at least not in the context she was wishing, more a subject offering themselves. and that wasn't what lilith wanted. zelda wasn't just a subject )
And what do you want?
( because lilith had already thrown herself out there, contrary to her hesitation before. but what did zelda want? she'd initiated this also but-- was it the same? )
[ Zelda's words falter. Usually, the answer would be clear. Her entanglements in the past revolved around lust and power, but Zelda did her best to avoid anything deeper. She doesn't mind being a spinster--someone had to take care of Hilda all these years, obviously--and love is inconvenient. She simply had never made time for it.
And she wouldn't fear honesty with Lilith. The two understand each other in ways others cannot. They have many similar goals. Zelda could tell her she wants to be her consort, to sit at her feet and worship her, to revel in whatever power that came with such a station. It wouldn't be a lie, but it wouldn't quite be the truth, either.
But she doesn't know what to say, because that feeling? She's not sure she's ever felt it before.
Zelda raises her hand, brushing the back of her hand tenderly over Lilith's cheek, capturing a lock of her hair through her fingers. ]
I want you, Lilith. [ And for a fleeting moment, she forgets who she's talking to, also. ] I want to know you. All of you.
( she'd started making the decision even before zelda had responded, extracting herself from the woman's grip, taking a few steps backwards.
she isn't a stranger to using people, for information, sex-- both tied together incredibly well and in honesty, it was what the majority of her life had been. lucifer had used her, had slept with her and made her love him-- he'd continued using her for millennia since just as lilith used those around her. weak men whom she could seduce and manipulate, gain her information or complete her tasks. it was what she was most used to in life.
but it didn't fulfil her. when lilith's life had been focused on the dark lord it had been easier to ignore what she wanted, to focus her life on his mission. but slowly her displeasure had started creeping in, a mournful thought when she'd have to seduce or sleep with someone again. fear when it came to him.
so much had changed in lilith's life recently and perhaps-- no. she'd enjoyed zelda's company, had wanted to spend more time with her, to know her better. lilith knew that she wanted something with her even if her lack of clarity came in knowing what that was or how to get there. but zelda-- she knew all about the witch's love of power, for why would anyone else so intelligent marry someone like blackwood? but with her hesitation in answering was that all that zelda was looking for? )
Then you should remember that my reign is not his reign, as your Church is not his.
( the dark lord had taken what he'd desired from so many women, something that lilith knew intimately well )
I don't desire your submission.
( it was what men had wanted and expected from her, what she'd refused to give, what she'd encouraged others to never give. why would she demand it now just because she was queen? )
[ Zelda's stomach drops when Lilith pulls away, her eyes widening. She takes a step back herself, pulling her hand away and clutching it in the other at her stomach. ]
I did not mean to offend you.
[ But even with Lilith's words, Zelda still finds terror rising inside her. What has she done? She overplayed her hand, an amateur move, or maybe Lilith is just far too intelligent to fall for the words of a woman whose only true love has been power.
Her mind goes quickly to Sabrina - how vulnerable she is, and even Lilith's promises that her reign isn't that of the Dark Lord's isn't enough to force down the fear that, by angering Lilith, Zelda puts her family in danger.
It's not that she doesn't believe what Lilith says. But 500 years of fear and submission is impossible to train out of someone overnight, regardless of what she's seen. ]
I don't desire to give it.
[ Her eyes are wide, wet now with fear and embarrassment, the latter being because she can't help the former. ]
I've told you what I have these last few days out of trust, not submission. But the scales have balanced only in your favor.. You have no need to fear the Dark Lord because you now wear the crown. Whereas I... [ High Priestess is merely a title in the end, after all. She is as vulnerable now as she was before, the only difference being her faith in Lilith is stronger, if still not wary.
A tear escapes, slipping down her cheek. ]
I'm not sure what to do. I don't understand the feelings I have for you. I've never felt like this before.
( when lilith moves it isn't in anger but almost in resignation, moving back at the table, lifting her scotch as she stands )
I have the most reason to fear him, the crown would not stop that. ( hell was-- turbulent to put it mildly. though lilith did have a strong following and the backing of her children not all agreed with the changes that she was trying to implement, the change in the rule after so long with lucifer there. they'd become used to fear and chaos and lilith--
but that was hell, not anything to do with the witch in front of her. she could talk about lucifer, even if it did not give the full scope of her fears nor life. she could also talk about this, how she felt, what she'd hoped from zelda. which would be easier?
instead, taking a moment to think, lilith has some of her scotch, slow drink from her glass )
I served Lucifer since I met him. His faithful handmaiden, the witch he crafted into what I am. ( a demon. a queen. but also broken, untrusting. there was more to her than lilith would ever allow anyone to know, many stories and secrets that she kept buried deep. some she'd cried over then, some she'd never allowed herself to cry about )
My betrayal comes harder than any other witches. He's held in Hell, who would he find first?
( it seems that lucifer became the easier thing to talk about. providing that lilith is still here it can be assumed that lucifer is not here. she pauses slightly before shifting track )
I don't want a consort, someone to replace my role. Your choice has yet to be made, something that only you can decide. Perhaps in peace.
( as the empty scotch glass rests back on the table lilith teleports herself away, fading into shadows that move out into the night, eyes not daring to meet zelda's as she leaves )
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no subject
Once the meal concluded, Sabrina excused herself to the parlor to finish her homework (or to sneak out and cohort with her mortal friends, more likely) and Zelda hurried Hilda off in search of some coffee Zelda knew they didn't have. Which leaves Zelda and Lilith in the warmth of the Spellman kitchen, surrounded by the odds and ends that make their home the place of sanctuary that it is.
Zelda lights a cigarette and pours them each a glass of scotch, setting it down in front of Lilith as she slides into her own seat. ]
I hope the meal was to your liking. Hilda was quite excited to entertain you.
no subject
It was. Hilda's a wonderful cook.
( she drinks a little of the scotch and whilst she could lean back in her chair, relax a little her attention is entirely on zelda )
It's been an enjoyable evening.
no subject
[ Zelda, in turn, leans towards her. To say that this dinner wasn't at least partially manipulative would be a lie, but Zelda is still glad to have the company. Especially this specific company. ]
Hilda's greatest magic has always been done in the kitchen. We're blessed to have her. [ She smiles affectionately. It wasn't long ago that the compliment would have been paired with a disparaging remark, but Zelda's relationship with Hilda has come a long way in the past few months. ]
no subject
( and whilst they'd both recused the dark lord it didn't change her being impressed by zelda's loyalty, particularly not to her family )
A challenging task, I'm certain.
( she'd seen so many people cut and run at lesser things, though they were typically men )
no subject
[ At least that is something she can say to Lilith without fear, or judgement. She is loyal to Lilith, too, but only because it does not come with the price of turning her back on her family. After what the Dark Lord did, Zelda suspects she would now stray from the Path of Night without hesitation if it meant keeping Sabrina safe. In a way, she already has. What they did they day they defeated the Dark Lord was forge their own path. ]
I'm am just glad that all of us benefited through the choices we've made. [ This time, Zelda reaches out to lay her hand on Lilith's. ] Whatever you ask of me is but a debt now, and a deserved one.
no subject
( with anyone else lilith would never dare to admit this but with zelda-- already lilith feels as if she can trust her, not yet knowing her well but having gone through something so large with her, something life-altering.
her next words are a little quieter though no less direct, wanting zelda to be confident in her position. in both of their positions )
The choices that we made are ones that we all made. ( whilst lilith would make certain to keep them all safe, to keep the problem of lucifer confined to hell if anything did ever occur, she wouldn't have zelda believe that she was indebted to her. not how the witch believed it )
I would not have my freedom without your family. ( and that was something that she didn't think of lightly ) There is no debt. Perhaps instead partnership.
( they've already proven how well they work together )
no subject
[ Zelda would never, in a million years, allow herself to be thought of as an equal to Lilith. Even if she does have affection for the woman, the fact of the matter is Lilith is a queen, and the power she wields is paramount to all else.
Of course, Zelda has learned to carefully balance submission and dominance, but there are some truths that simply cannot be avoided. So whatever Lilith asks for, she will be given.
And there are some things Zelda will give more freely than others. ]
But if it is a partnership you desire-- [ Zelda traces her finger gently across Lilith's skin, and she wonders if her heart might beat right out of her chest. ] You'll find no better ally than the Spellmans. Than I.
no subject
lilith had come here tonight as a friend rather than as a queen, a hope of better getting to know zelda, of pursuing what they'd started in the church which given zelda's words, the contact zelda's giving her-- she's not disagreeable )
And if it's not simply an ally that I seek?
( she's sat straighter in her chair, lust creeping into the look that she gives zelda.
a swift motion has her turning her hand over to grasp at zelda's wrist, standing from her chair and stepping around the table, a gentle tug on zelda's arm to encourage her up )
If what I want instead is you?
no subject
Her heartbeat pounds in her ears and Zelda moves even closer, her mouth close enough that a gentle shift from either direction would cause theirs to meet. She watches Lilith's eyes closely, testing these newfound boundaries in every way she can. ]
Then it is me you will receive. Body and soul.
no subject
her hand comes up to brush zelda's hair back from her face, other releasing her wrists to interwine their fingers, cupping her cheek before she leans in.
there's less hesitation this time, kiss firmer over the previous lighter touch though still slow, drawing it out, not yet giving over to her lust. because if she did she'd jump to fucking her on the table, not something she'd complain about but-- well, maybe it would happen. lilith knows that she wants her but she's never had a relationship develop before )
no subject
And men take what they want - sometimes, whether or not it is offered. In this case, Zelda has offered herself, but she has no illusions that what Lilith wants isn't far from what Faustus desired. Power, through submission. Respect and reverence, at the expense of Zelda's pride. At the expense of her autonomy.
She doubts Lilith will go that far, but it's hard to entirely shake those expectations of being used. Or, perhaps worse, finding a way to use in return.
Still, she rests her free hand on her shoulder, sliding it down to brush against her breast. When she finally breaks the kiss to catch her breath, her lips barely move away, still brushing against Lilith's as she speaks. ]
Take what you want from me, my Queen.
no subject
but zelda's words make her pause, leaning slightly back to really look at her. it didn't feel natural, at least not in the context she was wishing, more a subject offering themselves. and that wasn't what lilith wanted. zelda wasn't just a subject )
And what do you want?
( because lilith had already thrown herself out there, contrary to her hesitation before. but what did zelda want? she'd initiated this also but-- was it the same? )
no subject
[ Zelda's words falter. Usually, the answer would be clear. Her entanglements in the past revolved around lust and power, but Zelda did her best to avoid anything deeper. She doesn't mind being a spinster--someone had to take care of Hilda all these years, obviously--and love is inconvenient. She simply had never made time for it.
And she wouldn't fear honesty with Lilith. The two understand each other in ways others cannot. They have many similar goals. Zelda could tell her she wants to be her consort, to sit at her feet and worship her, to revel in whatever power that came with such a station. It wouldn't be a lie, but it wouldn't quite be the truth, either.
But she doesn't know what to say, because that feeling? She's not sure she's ever felt it before.
Zelda raises her hand, brushing the back of her hand tenderly over Lilith's cheek, capturing a lock of her hair through her fingers. ]
I want you, Lilith. [ And for a fleeting moment, she forgets who she's talking to, also. ] I want to know you. All of you.
no subject
she isn't a stranger to using people, for information, sex-- both tied together incredibly well and in honesty, it was what the majority of her life had been. lucifer had used her, had slept with her and made her love him-- he'd continued using her for millennia since just as lilith used those around her. weak men whom she could seduce and manipulate, gain her information or complete her tasks. it was what she was most used to in life.
but it didn't fulfil her. when lilith's life had been focused on the dark lord it had been easier to ignore what she wanted, to focus her life on his mission. but slowly her displeasure had started creeping in, a mournful thought when she'd have to seduce or sleep with someone again. fear when it came to him.
so much had changed in lilith's life recently and perhaps-- no. she'd enjoyed zelda's company, had wanted to spend more time with her, to know her better. lilith knew that she wanted something with her even if her lack of clarity came in knowing what that was or how to get there. but zelda-- she knew all about the witch's love of power, for why would anyone else so intelligent marry someone like blackwood? but with her hesitation in answering was that all that zelda was looking for? )
Then you should remember that my reign is not his reign, as your Church is not his.
( the dark lord had taken what he'd desired from so many women, something that lilith knew intimately well )
I don't desire your submission.
( it was what men had wanted and expected from her, what she'd refused to give, what she'd encouraged others to never give. why would she demand it now just because she was queen? )
no subject
I did not mean to offend you.
[ But even with Lilith's words, Zelda still finds terror rising inside her. What has she done? She overplayed her hand, an amateur move, or maybe Lilith is just far too intelligent to fall for the words of a woman whose only true love has been power.
Her mind goes quickly to Sabrina - how vulnerable she is, and even Lilith's promises that her reign isn't that of the Dark Lord's isn't enough to force down the fear that, by angering Lilith, Zelda puts her family in danger.
It's not that she doesn't believe what Lilith says. But 500 years of fear and submission is impossible to train out of someone overnight, regardless of what she's seen. ]
I don't desire to give it.
[ Her eyes are wide, wet now with fear and embarrassment, the latter being because she can't help the former. ]
I've told you what I have these last few days out of trust, not submission. But the scales have balanced only in your favor.. You have no need to fear the Dark Lord because you now wear the crown. Whereas I... [ High Priestess is merely a title in the end, after all. She is as vulnerable now as she was before, the only difference being her faith in Lilith is stronger, if still not wary.
A tear escapes, slipping down her cheek. ]
I'm not sure what to do. I don't understand the feelings I have for you. I've never felt like this before.
no subject
I have the most reason to fear him, the crown would not stop that. ( hell was-- turbulent to put it mildly. though lilith did have a strong following and the backing of her children not all agreed with the changes that she was trying to implement, the change in the rule after so long with lucifer there. they'd become used to fear and chaos and lilith--
but that was hell, not anything to do with the witch in front of her. she could talk about lucifer, even if it did not give the full scope of her fears nor life. she could also talk about this, how she felt, what she'd hoped from zelda. which would be easier?
instead, taking a moment to think, lilith has some of her scotch, slow drink from her glass )
I served Lucifer since I met him. His faithful handmaiden, the witch he crafted into what I am. ( a demon. a queen. but also broken, untrusting. there was more to her than lilith would ever allow anyone to know, many stories and secrets that she kept buried deep. some she'd cried over then, some she'd never allowed herself to cry about )
My betrayal comes harder than any other witches. He's held in Hell, who would he find first?
( it seems that lucifer became the easier thing to talk about. providing that lilith is still here it can be assumed that lucifer is not here. she pauses slightly before shifting track )
I don't want a consort, someone to replace my role. Your choice has yet to be made, something that only you can decide. Perhaps in peace.
( as the empty scotch glass rests back on the table lilith teleports herself away, fading into shadows that move out into the night, eyes not daring to meet zelda's as she leaves )